FedEx, Hanuman & Canada

A Tale of Grit

Monday (T-2 days)

When’s that damn visa gonna come ?!

It’s been 5 business days since Dyag and I couriered our passport to the Canadian consulate to get our visa. 5 business days was the usual turn-around time. After some non-trivial mental gymnastics, we had taken the calculated risk of booking a non-refundable flight out to Canada on Wednesday at 5:15 PM.

We had to make it to KD’s conference and our precious Banff trip on time.

But the calculation now appeared not all that well-calculated. It’s Monday evening and the 5 day turn-around time looked sus.

Canada’s visa processing machinery proved to be very reliable, communicative and empathetic to the plight of the young scholar on a tight-schedule and her freeloading husband.

7 PM

Our flight’s at 5:15 PM on Wednesday. We can only make it to the airport by 2PM if we leave home by 12PM. What if the passport doesn’t reach home by then ?

As if anticipating our thoughts:

Our 5PM Wednesday flight now looks even more poorly calculated.

11 PM

More mental gymnastics follow.

Dyag: Plan B: Book a backup flight for late Thursday/ Friday. We can anyway cancel flights for free within 24h. We should know better by tomorrow evening when our passport will arrive.

I find one for Thursday night, although with 7h layover :( But beggars cannot be choosers.

Some Banff > No Banff at all.

Tuesday (T-1 day)

9 AM

The tracking portal says package yet to be picked up.

Welcome to FedEx. This call maybe monitored or recorded for quality assurance. How can I help you ?

FedAlExa on the other end sends me down rabbit holes. Press 1 to track your package, 2 to hold your package, 3 To ScHeDuLe A pIcKuP, 4 iF i’M tEsTiNg yOuR pAtIenCe.

Repeatedly calling and exploring all option-combinations leads to the same outcome. I shalt not be allowed to ask a human why the package has not yet been picked up until the package has been picked up.

10 AM

Turns out that only a shipping label was created by the Canadian VAC. FedEx had yet to pick it up.

Any why would the VAC say “has been couriered .. via courier partner” if it just made a shipping label ?

11 AM

Dyag (from lab): Any update ?

Nope.

12 - 4 PM

4:39 PM

Progress! But you know what Dyag ? We’re at the edge. We have to leave home by 12PM to reach the airport by 2PM for the 5PM flight tomorrow. There’s no way we’re making it if the package arrives at 2:10 PM. Just don’t want stress. Let’s just cut our losses and travel on Thursday.

Dyag: Ok just cancel and rebook the Thursday flight. If you do it immediately, you should get the same price but the 24h cancellation clock will reset.

Smart ! Best case, the passport arrives before 12PM tomorrow, we can still make our flight and we can cancel the Thursday backup flight without charge ! Why didn’t I think of that ? 🤔

Dyag: Also let’s pack our bags and be ready to leave home as soon as the passport arrives tomorrow. Shanmathi is coming over tonight. Let’s take her help too. No time to waste !

Aye aye 👩‍✈️🫡

5 PM

Dyag: Now at least, we should be able to hold the package in Atlanta. No point in us waiting for it to come to Athens, receiving it and going back to the Atlanta airport.

<Checks online> Dammit we can only get it held at a facility in the city of delivery (Athens). No point in that. But who knows if picking it up from a store in Athens is faster than just waiting for it to come home ?

Wednesday

1:19 AM

🤷🏽‍♂️ we couldn’t have checked-in online without our visa details anyway.

9:45 AM

There’s still a chance Dyag. We can make it.

Dyag: Just got off the line with a human FedEx customer rep. They’ve pinged the delivery agent to accelerate our delivery.

🎉🥳

10 AM - 1 PM

1 PM

Ok I’m calling it. Will just write off today’s flight as a loss and keep moving. I don’t want this holiday to start off with more planning, anticipation and stress.

2 PM

Our Ring doorbell wakes me up from a power nap.

Just another false positive Dyag ! Neighbour’s dog is doing its thing behind the garbage bin.

2:16 PM

Da hell’s wrong with that dog’s gut today ?! It probably ate from the bin also.

“Hello! I have some packages for you”

2:20 PM

Flight’s at 5:15PM. No delays. No way we’re going to drive the 2 hours to the airport, check our bags in, go through security check and make it to the gate. I recommend we take it easy, cut our losses and fly out on Thursday. Why deal with the hassle and stress ?

Dyag: Let’s just head to the airport. If we miss the flight we can always stay with our Atlanta friends and travel tomorrow. If we make it, we can still cancel our Thursday flight for free.

Yes but I hate the hassle. This is meant to be a holiday.

Dyag: Everything to gain and nothing more to lose !

Except my peace of mind.

Dyag: This is why you’ve been doing Sudarshan Kriya. For moments like this, to buffer response from stimulus.

I’ve meditated on and off before but had, for the last 3 weeks, been practicing Sudarshan Kriya daily in response to some illness and stress. It had been working well, helping me nip anxiety in the bud.

Yes but why put yourself in a position that can sabotage your peace in the first place ? Prevention > Cure.

As Benjamin Franklin says,

“so convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for anything one has a mind to do"

Dyag: I’m ok either way. I don’t want to push you too hard. But think about it. Don’t take too long though 😛⏰

The reasonable creature’s better angels prevail.

Ok let’s book the cab.

Dyag: Already booked. But can’t track it coz my phone just died.

2:45 PM

On account of summer vacation, cabs are sparse and hard to get. Half a dozen of the cabs that are around cancel on us because of the length of the ride (2h).

Dyag: We got one ! And he’s agreed to take us 💃🏽

We get in and hear Bollywood music pumping. The driver, Tylon, is from South Africa and digs Indian culture.

Dyag sends out a flurry of messages while making conversation with the guy while I focus on my breath. Suddenly a Tamil accent goes

🎶 My hormone-u balance-u damageeee 🎶🎶

on the speaker. We both start laughing at its timing. What a hilarious introduction to the Rowdy Baby song from Maari 2.

Dyag: Did you check in ?

No coz the online check in window ended 24h before departure and I couldn’t do it without the visa. We gotta do it in person. And they’ll charge us for taking assistance from personnel.

Dyag: Ok send me our flight details.

<texts a lot>

Dyag: Check-in done ✅ And they didn’t ask for visa information. Just passport number.

And they still let you check in, with the online check-in window having closed ?

Dyag: Guess it wasn’t “closed”.

The Russian proverb “Trust But Verify”, as admirable a heuristic, finds application only by the mindfully determined.

Dyag: We now have our boarding passes. Better odds of being allowed to check-in.

<continues messaging>

Awesome. Who are you busy messaging now ?

<silence>

3:45 PM

An hour passes in silence. Lord Hanuman comes to my mind. I guess religion had to wait till I entered my 30s, to assert itself within, I think to myself.

But lol no. Tylon has the Hanuman Chalisa devotional chant playing.

Dyag and I have, between us, spent a total 13 years in the US. In all that time, this has never happened to either of us, let alone in the Deep South Bible Belt and at such an apt moment.

Smiles are not suppressed.

I check the flight for delays and it’s still on time 😓

The ETA is 4:30 PM Dyag and the flight is not delayed. Let’s just head to the Atlanta boys’ house now itself. Else it’s another hop from the airport to their house.

Dyag: Since we’ve crossed the halfway mark, might as well see it through right ? Worst case yes we’ll head to their house. But upto you. If you’re exhausted we can re-route right now. Just say the word.

Hanuman and the reasonable creature fight. Hanuman wins.

Stay the course.

4:30 PM

We reach the airport, shower Tylon with gratitude and a fat tip and rush to the WestJet counter.

There’s a big sign that says check in is closed for our flight. Seeing this immediately for what it is (ammunition for the reasonable creature to assert itself ), I stay mum and let Dyag talk.

The agent doesn’t realize we’re on that flight. She accepts our passports and does some processing for 3 min. On realizing:

I can’t let you check in as I can’t guarantee your bags will reach you today. I might have to put them on the next ✈️

That’s perfectly fine !

Y’all might have to make a run for it too. It doesn’t look like the flight is delayed and we can’t hold it for you.

Dyag : No problem.

4:45 PM

Adrenaline shoots through us. And the international terminal security check line, that’s usually empty, is overflowing.

My boi RC is bursting to say “Enough!”. I hold him in check.

Dyag: I’m gonna ask each person if they can let us cut in front of them.

“Excuse me, hello. We’re boarding now and we’re very late. Would you mind letting us through? Thank you !

After the first 3 individuals in the line, I’ve had it. Part fatigue, part embarrassment and heightened self-consciousness make me say

It’s ok. Let it play its course. If we make in time great ! If not it’s not a big deal.

Dyag: Let me ask the TSA agents if we can cut through or use the shorter TSA-pre check lines.

<asks>

Dyag: They said no.

RC has had enough now.

Dyag, Enough!

In a rare emo-logical tone, she says

We’re so close. If you’re not gonna help atleast be quiet. And if you can’t do that let’s just give up now and go to the Atlanta boys’ house. Why even continue ?

Do what you have to.

And she actually goes around asking each person in the line the same thing

“Excuse me, hello. We’re boarding now and we’re very late. Would you mind letting us through? Thank you !

After 2-3 such asks, contrition, part embarrassment, a need to show solidarity to my gritty wife and a desire to come out of this tale somewhat-shining hit me.

I join in.

Thank you very much / you’re very kind / appreciate it.

Captain Daga charts the way forward and I follow. She easily asks 40 people the same question and we cross a 100 individuals easily in that line. A psychological experiment plays itself out at scale; not just testing how people react to such requests but how one’s own psyche barricades itself from feeling while on such crusades.

Most folks say “Yes please go ahead !”. Some verify our flight timing to check if such exigency is warranted. Some pretend to not hear us, until beckoned by their neighbors.

One couple says “our flight’s earlier than yours and we don’t think we’ll make it.”

Don’t you want to go ahead too then ?

“Nah. We have a backup later tomorrow if we miss this”.

Laughing at the possibility of us being them in a parallel universe, we forge on ahead.

Many folks, now having heard Dyag’s ask and its various flavors, like a mantra played on loop, let us pass without asking.

2 women, having seen this young woman persist her way through 5 lines of people, feel empathetic. “You go girl ! And don’t ask anyone else. Just keep going forward.”

Finally there are just 5 people ahead of us in the line. The man ahead says he’s late too and can’t let us cross. We accept this limit wholeheartedly.

Dyag looks at her phone again.

Who’s worth messaging now ?

Dyag: It’s Hannah and Martin. I’ve been asking them to keep an eye on the incoming flight and to tell me if our flight had a chance in being delayed.

They say it is ! By a narrow 19 min window. Doesn’t this persisting feel worth it now ??!!

Dyag: You wait Mr. Just Ask, I will fight with you once this is all over!

5 PM

After security check, before I can pack my belongings :

Dyag: Our gate is not in the international terminal ! We need to take a train to the D terminal. Just take everything and run don’t pack !

Yes just make sure you have your passport, wallet and phone. Everything else is losable.

But before I can finish she’s off ! With my belt !

With one hand on my loose pants I run after her with the “Run Run Rudolph” song from Home Alone ringing in my ears.

5:15 PM

We make it. With boarding yet to start and 45 min left for me to cancel the Thursday flight. I hit Cancel with a satisfaction that wouldn’t have been possible without the adrenaline and subsequent deliverance.

On the flight, our neighbor has “The Secret” book open to the “The Law of Attraction” page. Very fitting. Us occupying airspace inside this flight is a result of Dyag’s sheer will and grit.

Her lab mates are also traveling to Calgary on the same day but only one of them, Thomas, knows about our plan. She’s coordinating with him to surprise the other 2, Andrew and Bella in Canada.

My Apple FindMy says that the bags too have made it on the same flight.

The very best scenario actualized itself and we both fall asleep in minutes.

The Grit Complement

Dyag injected steroids into the “Just Ask” principle.

Persisting a few times is human. Persisting relentlessly is superhuman. The incentive is the difference.

Some imagined boundaries are hard to overcome. Less hard on practice.

Others become harder with repetition. Like repeatedly asking favors of people in a line.

It’s possible to be gritty in some dimensions but not others. It’s easier for me to be gritty in solo matters than those that depend on other people.

So if you can’t be gritty in certain dimensions, marry your grit-complement.

Surmounting challenges with such a person makes views like this,

the company of people like this,

and surprises like this

far more priceless.